Sense of Then

Memory work is fascinating. Each unearthed memory leads to another memory. Sometimes I’m not sure if what I feel is actually what I feel or if it’s my inner child speaking. When she first woke up, I could tell the difference between my thoughts and hers. As the year progressed, we’ve integrated a bit. She used to peek over my shoulder during interactions where she didn’t know people or was curious about what was going on, but wasn’t sure where she fit. Once I started working on integration, it mostly feels like a return to myself, my truth, and my memories. It’s as if I found a box of VHS tapes from the 90s that were old movies of myself, and I am watching them as my own memories now. For decades, these memories were kept in a vault, locked away, too sacred to expose to humidity and other people’s judgments. But now they are out, and she is alive again.