Sense of Then

Goodbyes are hard. Life doesn’t set things up so a person knows they are saying goodbye.

There are sayings like “treat everyone like this is the last time you’ll see them,” but that’s not how life works. A goodbye is supposed to be something you get to know is happening while it’s happening. Not something where you look back and realize that was the last time you heard someone laugh, tell you they loved you, or promise to be there forever.

Life doesn’t care about long-term consequences, good or bad. We can’t go back and fix things, say what we didn’t know how to say at the time, or make a better decision so we don’t damage someone else’s sense of self.

I have made a lot of bad decisions over time, just like everyone else. I have hurt people I loved deeply. I can’t take that back.

I carry that.